How Thoughts Affect Our Feelings
Our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are intricately connected. Think about those days you feel good – you probably have a backdrop of generally positive thoughts, a balance of rest and activity (your behaviors), and feel calm, capable, and happy. Conversely, think about days when you're stuck in an emotional funk. When you're feeling bleh, anxious, angry, or unmotivated, you might find yourself thinking something like, “Everything sucks.” You may end up doomscrolling in bed in yesterday’s pajamas, only getting up to refill the chip bag. Unsurprisingly, those behaviors tend to reinforce the “blah” feelings.
The Connection Between Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors
Our feelings are deeply influenced by how we interpret the world around us. Imagine someone steps on your foot—if you believe they did it on purpose, you might feel angry. But if you assume it was an accident, you're more likely to let it go.
This is a simple example of how our thoughts shape our feelings and influence our behaviors. These patterns play a big role in anxiety, anger, and other emotional struggles.
In anxiety therapy, we often look at this cycle—thoughts, feelings, and behaviors—to understand where we can intervene and build healthier patterns. The way we think about a situation can either trigger or calm our anxiety.
Check Your Thoughts – What Is the Story I’m Telling Myself?
If you're prone to big emotions like anxiety, anger, or sadness, one helpful coping skill is to pause and check your thoughts. In these intense moments, ask yourself: “What’s the story I’m telling myself right now?”
Are you assuming the worst? Are you interpreting something as personal or threatening when it might not be? This simple check-in can help you identify unhelpful thinking patterns that may be fueling your feelings.
Reframe Your Thoughts and Change Your Feelings
One core technique in anxiety therapy is reframing your thoughts. This means intentionally shifting the story you’re telling yourself to something more realistic or balanced.
For example, if your original thought is, “This person is trying to screw me over,” you might pause and ask: What evidence supports or contradicts this thought? A more balanced reframe could be: “I have some questions about this process.” These two thoughts will likely produce very different emotional reactions—and help you respond more calmly.
Coping Skills You Can Practice
Reframing is just one of many coping skills that can help reduce anxiety and improve emotional well-being. Other helpful strategies include:
Deep breathing and grounding techniques
Journaling your thoughts
Practicing self-compassion
Setting realistic expectations
Talking to a therapist for support
Anxiety Therapy in Dublin, CA Can Help
If you’re struggling with anxious thoughts or overwhelming emotions, therapy can help. In anxiety therapy, we work together to uncover unhelpful thought patterns, learn effective coping skills, and create lasting emotional change.
Whether you’re facing daily stress or deeper emotional challenges, support is available. Therapy in Dublin, CA offers a safe space to gain insight, learn tools, and feel better.