What Emotions Can Teach Us
Recently I heard a brilliant quote about emotions: “Our feelings are a lot like toddlers, we can’t let them drive, but we also can’t put them in the trunk.” So how do we do that, really? How do we listen to our emotions? What can they teach us?
Self-Care Lessons from Regenerative Braking
My family recent got our first electric vehicle. It’s been fun to get used to all the new ways EV’s work and gamify our commute to see how much battery we use or save. One of the exciting features of hybrids and electric vehicles is the concept of regenerative braking. It’s normal and good to need times to stop and recharge our batteries (this is part of why the importance of sleep cannot be overemphasized for our mental and physical wellbeing). Between re-charges, regenerative braking offers us a more holistic, and often realistic path forward. Our daily lives are full of moments that require us expending energy, and moments that restore our energy, sometimes even in the same experience! Self-care following regenerative braking encourages us to keep a mindful balance of our internal battery life, pushing and exerting when required, and then leaning into something restoring or slowing down
A Therapist’s Top Mental Health & Wellbeing Book Recommendations
Therapy is a big investment of time, energy, and financial resources. And while I whole heartedly believe that therapy can be a profoundly healing experience that equips people with tools to live healthier, more fulfilling lives, it really is what you put into it. Merely attending a 50 minute session each week isn’t going to magically change your life. The winning combination is a willingness to show up and do the work in session, and implement those changes throughout your week.
One of my favorite recommendations for my counseling clients is to supplement our work with some intentional reading. By adding some adjunctive therapeutic reading (psychobabble term: bibliotherapy) on certain topics you want to change, then working to make those incremental changes can really help your healing process. So here are my most recommended mental health/well being & personal growth therapy books:
Am I Codependent?
Codependency is a bit of a psychobabble buzz word - but what is codependency? Codependency describes a set of traits and features of unhealthy dependence on another for that one’s emotional well being. This term is often used within the realm of addiction, but codependency can surface in other relationships as well.
Ultimately, people who struggle with codependency will not feel okay unless others are okay. There is a blurred line between one’s own thoughts, emotions, and needs and the thoughts, emotions or needs of another person.
How to Stop People Pleasing
People pleasing has its perks. It often means you’re appreciated as the team player at work, considered the friend or family member that is reliable and thoughtful, the one your friends confide in because you’re quick to listen and follow up in meaningful ways. It’s a quality that is rewarded in friendships, families, workplace, and church communities. I get it, I’m a recovering people pleaser myself. The dark side of people pleasing emerges when relationships become more and more one-sided, demanding emotional energy without reciprocity, and unexpressed resentment starts to fester.